Miracles

I recently posted this phrase as my status on Facebook:

"There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

Twenty-four years ago my life changed in an instant. It was Ash Wednesday 1986, and I still remember that day as if it happened last week. I was sitting in class in high school and a message was delivered to the classroom that I needed to go to the principal's office. I am a rule follower and the thought of being called to the principal's office was the first time that day that my stomach dropped out of my body. I had NEVER been to the principal's office and I could not imagine what I had done to deserve the summons. When I arrived I was escorted into the office of the assistant principal and I remember thinking "what is my mom going to say about this when I have to call her to tell her I'm in trouble?" Well, I had my mom on my mind, but it ended up that the visit to the office was about her. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your pastor is on his way to pick you up. Your mother had a massive heart attack and your dad will meet you at the hospital." I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach and then it dropped out of my body for a second time.

The experience of watching my mom fight for her life was nothing short of a miracle, from the news that she made it through surgery, through the news that more surgery was needed and devastating news after that surgery that if a heart was not found right away for a transplant she would lose her fight. Miracle after miracle- a family made the decision to donate a loved one's organs so that others could experience the miracle of life while their loved one lost theirs, surgery was a success, and each little milestone that we watched for for 2 months while she was in a coma... then walking into her hospital room and seeing her awake. Miracle after miracle. We were living a miracle each and every day, and we had 4 years of miracles while she was still with us.

That experience of watching my mom fight for her life, and seeing the power of prayer at work in our lives, was the second most faith filled experience I have had in my 40 years. You know from other blog posts that Courtney is at the top of the list.

In the past 24 years I had lost sight of daily miracles in the hustle and bustle of daily life, but Courtney is now a constant reminder that miracles can, and still do, happen daily. 15 years of trying to conceive and we finally did... miracle. Seeing her heartbeat and move on the three ultrasounds we had- miracle. Seeing what she looked like while holding my daughter in my arms- miracle. Seeing the ways she has opened our eyes to blessings- miracle. Being able to see God in the grief- miracle.

I've been asked about how I can take an "unfair" situation and be coping the way that I am- I'm choosing to see the positives rather than focusing on the negatives. I'm making a conscious choice to see the "miracles" in every day life. I could dwell on the negative, I could wallow in my sorrow, I could throw myself one huge pity party (my family could tell you that I was REALLY good at that growing up), but I would be missing out on seeing the miracles around me. Is my glass half-empty or half-full? Neither... it's full!

Butterflies on beautiful flowers on Courtney's due date- miracle. Hearing messages that touch my heart in books or songs or sermons- miracle. Being able to smile and laugh about Courtney or any other thing in my life- miracle. Being blessed beyond measure with great friends, wonderful family and the best husband a girl could ask for- miracle. Having my life being held in God's hands... the biggest miracle of all.

My mom and my daughter- the two people who have strengthened my faith in the world are together in heaven... two of God's miracles who have touched my life and who have shown me the power of prayer, the strength of faith, and who have taught me to believe in miracles... both the big ones and the ones that surround us each day.

What are the miracles around you right now?