"I Will Carry You"

One other song that I want to share with you is one that I found after we had Courtney's service.

I came across a You Tube interview with Angie and Todd Smith.  Angie has written a book called "I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy", and Todd is one of the members of the Christian group "Selah".  Angie and Todd lost their daughter Audrey a couple of hours after she was born.  They knew she would likely not live long because of issues discovered during a routine ultrasound at 20 weeks.  They wrote a song called "I Will Carry You".  You can listen to the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlDUkp1Ts8A

Here are the lyrics:

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?people say that I am brave but I`m not
Truth is I`m barely hanging on
But there`s a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the one who`s chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But i know
That the silence
Has brought me to his voice
And he says

I`ve shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the one who`s chosen me
To carry you

When I heard this song, like "Still" (subject of my last post), it resonated with me.   One of my first reactions after hearing that Courtney didn't have a heartbeat was that God was playing a cruel joke on us.  I wanted to be angry at God, but instead I found that I was drawn to Him in a way I haven't experienced in a long time, perhaps in 20 years.  I found great comfort in knowing that Courtney was in the hands of Jesus, and that she was being shown heaven by my mom, and others who have gone before her.  Now I find that I"m praising God for the blessing that Courtney has been in our lives.  I'm praising the one who chose us to carry her, even for the short time she was with us.