"Still"

Music has always held a special place in my life. I was, after all, a self-described "band geek" in high school, I was in choir, and I have always felt a special connection to music, especially during difficult times. As I sit and write this entry my iPod is blasting in my ears... I can't sit still when I hear music- I either sing along, hum, or my toes and/or fingers start tapping. 

It shouldn't then surprise you that one of the very first things I did when we began planning the service for Courtney was looking up hymns. In my online quest for songs that would help us tell Courtney's story through the service, I came across a list of songs that others have used in services for babies. On one of the many pages I clicked on that day was this song:

"Still" by Gerrit Hofsink

I’ve been waiting for you
For such a long time
You’re always on my mind

And I’m lying awake
Most of the night
Waiting to hold you tight

Now that I do
And look at you
My heart is breaking
This can’t be true

Chorus:
Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On earth we never can
But in heaven we’ll meet again

Close to my soul
Close to my heart
Right from the start

Lost in time
Lost in space
Can’t wait to see your face

Now that I do
And look at you
My heart is breaking
I know it’s true

Chorus:
Lost you . . .

Sometimes I find myself wondering what to do
With this pain that I’m going through
But I know one day, God will take me away
And I’m coming home to you

And when I do
And look at you
My heart is healing
I know it’s true

Chorus:
Lost you . . .


Here is a link to the song on You Tube:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSYvT-Qv_5w

We played this at Courtney's service.  I think this song really represents the journey were are on.  The part of the song that most resonates with me is the phrase "but I know one day God will take me away, and I'm coming home to you."  I don't know how I could begin to cope with losing Courtney without the promise that I'll see her again.  Our separation is only temporary, thanks be to God!!